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Running away

I keep always running away,
If I have to cry, I keep hiding.
I’m scared to show my real emotions,
To other people around me.
Again, I’m crying myself to sleep,
I feel so lonely, like I’m all alone.
What’s so close seems so far,
But I have to keep fighting, stay strong.
I want to break free,
From this darkness and misery.
I have to hold on,
But I’m always running away.
Why can’t I explain what I’m feeling?
I don’t know who I’m happily.
It’s so hard to find me,
When what’s so shallow feels so deep.
But I have to stay strong and hold on,
I have to be stronger than my head, stronger than my thoughts.
You are but why do I,
Feel like I’m all alone?
I guess, it needs time,
Time to find back the real me.
I keep always running away,
From difficult situations.
After dinner I go to the toilet,
Every day, I’m breaking, I’m hurting.
I want to be free, want to break through,
From this darkness and empty feeling.
But I keep always running away,
When I have to cry, when I’m going to break.
When is the day that I don’t run away,
That I’m strong enough to cry with people around me?
When can I see the positive points of me again,
When will I be free from this anxiety?
All these pills they give me,
It works for a little while.
but later it only gets worse,
The thoughts come back again.
It’s feels like the world won’t miss me,
So much to say but it feels like there’s no one listening.
So, I keep running away, hide myself again,
and don’t say anything, keep me quiet.
A little time is all I really need,
To survive this dark and heavy journey.
I’m doing the best I can,
With everything I am.
Nobody is perfect, right?
I have also flaws and scars.
Do you understand how hard,
I’m trying to don’t run away again?
I refuse to believe in myself,
In all that people who say nice things about me.
How hard I’m trying my best,
I keep running away from everything.

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Will I am!
Actief sinds: 28-03-2019 Auteursrechten
Op dit gedicht ‘Running away’ van Will I am! zijn auteursrechten van toepassing (©). Het gedicht is onder auteursrechtelijke bescherming geplaatst op Dichters.nl.