My first English poem

Sabrina

Living my life alone without my "one"
I need to be the best version of myself but I am falling apart now.
We tried to make it work so many times.
We just don't know how.

I just can't do anything anymore.
I am just trying to make others smile.
I learnt that from my mother,
But why is smiling so hard for myself?
And it takes such a while...

Right know I feel like I can never smile again.
Because of that stupid man I still love.
But he is not the right man for me.
Just only read the above.

I don't want to fight with him every day.
I am already fighting my own battles with my pain.
But he keeps coming, sweet or angry.
Is he mad or is he insanly inhumane?!

So back to completely single after 2,5 years.
I wish there was something like a warning sign.
So many ups and downs.
It is even worse then my borderline.

I wanted to see the world with him.
Now I'd rather go alone.
Away from all the bullshit from others.
And if I want to talk with my friends, I get my phone.

Luckily I am at my mothers for a few months.
Best place to be with a broken heart.
Even though my inspiration is gone at the moment,
I am going to try to concentrate at my art.